Lotus Totus my fuckin' ass
There's some mighty fine advice in these words (More so in the words in brackets), even if you're not superstitious (If you are superstitious kindly stop). This Lotus Totus has been sent to you for good luck (Not really). It has been sent around the world ten times so far.
(And if there is a God, who actually cares for our intellectual and spiritual well-being, this will be last)
You have 6 minutes (Or more, if you’d like. You can even read half now and come back later. No worries)Do not keep this message. (That’s 115kb of space put to better use)The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired. (Because the Lotus Totus has now achieved first strike capability)
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. (For instance, if you feel like abusing someone, don’t just abuse, kick them in the groin. Then smile)
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. (And probably the only skill worth having)
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. (Instead, forward everything you get, kiss everyone you know, then sing ‘Kumbayah my Lord Kumbayah’; that’ll help)
FOUR. ! When you say, "I love you," mean it. (Might as well say ‘I love you and I mean it’)
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. (And once you’ve stopped being mean to the Cyclops you can kick it in the groin)
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. (If by then you haven’t figured out what you’re getting into, well, you deserve it)
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight !(If you believe in love at first sight the you have to believe in hate at first sight)
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. (And people who have a lot don’t have dreams)
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. (And once you get hurt, remember what got you there in the first place and vow never to love so deeply and passionately again. And you will live life completely)
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. (Yeah fucker, no name calling)
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. (Judge them instead by their shoes)
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. (Or talk really really fast, then excuse yourself an go to the loo)
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" (Through constant use and abuse I have found that ‘Your mom!’ will suffice as an answer to any question, anytime)
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. (And then remember that you’ll look back when it’s all shot to hell and say ‘It wasn’t worth it’, like you’ve done so many times before)
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. (A far wiser thing would be to solemnly ask them to take their cold and get the fuck outta your face)
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson (Because that’s how losers come up in life, they had great teachers)
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. (Remember, Rum Rocks!)
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. (But let little disputes be an excuse to thrash not-so-great friends)
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. (Unless of course you’ve accidentally killed the cat. No amount of mouth-to-mouth is going to bring ol ginger back to life)
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. (Unless you’re an emergency number operator)
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.!
(And while you’re doing that, remember; Spam sucks and promise yourself that you will never forward anything to anybody ever again)
This is now Lotus Totus version 2.0
Cheers!
(And if there is a God, who actually cares for our intellectual and spiritual well-being, this will be last)
You have 6 minutes (Or more, if you’d like. You can even read half now and come back later. No worries)Do not keep this message. (That’s 115kb of space put to better use)The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired. (Because the Lotus Totus has now achieved first strike capability)
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. (For instance, if you feel like abusing someone, don’t just abuse, kick them in the groin. Then smile)
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. (And probably the only skill worth having)
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. (Instead, forward everything you get, kiss everyone you know, then sing ‘Kumbayah my Lord Kumbayah’; that’ll help)
FOUR. ! When you say, "I love you," mean it. (Might as well say ‘I love you and I mean it’)
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. (And once you’ve stopped being mean to the Cyclops you can kick it in the groin)
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. (If by then you haven’t figured out what you’re getting into, well, you deserve it)
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight !(If you believe in love at first sight the you have to believe in hate at first sight)
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. (And people who have a lot don’t have dreams)
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. (And once you get hurt, remember what got you there in the first place and vow never to love so deeply and passionately again. And you will live life completely)
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. (Yeah fucker, no name calling)
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. (Judge them instead by their shoes)
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. (Or talk really really fast, then excuse yourself an go to the loo)
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" (Through constant use and abuse I have found that ‘Your mom!’ will suffice as an answer to any question, anytime)
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. (And then remember that you’ll look back when it’s all shot to hell and say ‘It wasn’t worth it’, like you’ve done so many times before)
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. (A far wiser thing would be to solemnly ask them to take their cold and get the fuck outta your face)
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson (Because that’s how losers come up in life, they had great teachers)
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. (Remember, Rum Rocks!)
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. (But let little disputes be an excuse to thrash not-so-great friends)
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. (Unless of course you’ve accidentally killed the cat. No amount of mouth-to-mouth is going to bring ol ginger back to life)
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. (Unless you’re an emergency number operator)
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.!
(And while you’re doing that, remember; Spam sucks and promise yourself that you will never forward anything to anybody ever again)
This is now Lotus Totus version 2.0
Cheers!
posted by Nishant at 9:12 pm
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